Thursday, June 4, 2009
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Aren't we called to treat women like sisters? I don't desire a sister; can you explain that?
1 Timothy 5
1 Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father. Treat younger men as brothers, 2 older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity.
If you're a good sibling, you're protective towards yours sisters. You care for them. You want them best for them. You don't take sexual advantage of them. You don't make sexual advances towards them.
Things You Do With Your Sister
Things You Don't Do With Your Sister
Brothers and fathers are notorious for threatening to beat up anyone that threatens the purity of their sister or daughter. That's the attitude you should have towards young ladies.
Too may guys view young ladies as objects for their pleasure, things to be used. If that's you, repent now. Girls, if you know a guy like that, stay away from him. Guys, if you know someone like that, go confront him right now.
1 Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father. Treat younger men as brothers, 2 older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity.
If you're a good sibling, you're protective towards yours sisters. You care for them. You want them best for them. You don't take sexual advantage of them. You don't make sexual advances towards them.
Things You Do With Your Sister
- Hang out
- Talk
- Go eat
- Play games
Things You Don't Do With Your Sister
- Make out
- Talk Dirty
- Pass first, second, or third base...or go anywhere ear the field
Brothers and fathers are notorious for threatening to beat up anyone that threatens the purity of their sister or daughter. That's the attitude you should have towards young ladies.
Too may guys view young ladies as objects for their pleasure, things to be used. If that's you, repent now. Girls, if you know a guy like that, stay away from him. Guys, if you know someone like that, go confront him right now.
Saturday, May 30, 2009
What's an appropriate way (after you have figured out that you and your girlfriend/boyfriend aren't "meant to be") to let them go?
Do it...
1) Quickly
Don't drag things out. Don't string them along. If you realize things aren't going to work, go and tell them immediately. You don't want them getting more emotionally attached while you're heading elsewhere.
2) Gracefully
3) Reasonably
4) Clearly
1) Quickly
Don't drag things out. Don't string them along. If you realize things aren't going to work, go and tell them immediately. You don't want them getting more emotionally attached while you're heading elsewhere.
2) Gracefully
- Don't be a jerk
- Realize you're probably going to hurt the person
- Show sympathy for their feelings
- Do it in person if you're not 100s of miles apart
- Do it somewhere it won't be awkward...you really don't want to be responsible for them embarrassing themselves by crying in the middle of the hallway at school. NOT COOL!
3) Reasonably
- Tell them in plain language what is going on
- Don't leave them guessing, that would be rude
- Realize they're looking for closer. Sometimes that isn't possible, but if you blatantly leave them without answers, they'll keep following you around until you give them.
4) Clearly
- Don't be subtle...if they deserve better (assuming they aren't a jerk) and if they really like you they won't get it
- Don't simply leave clues or stop calling
- Don't use vague language leaves them thinking there is hope where there is none
Friday, May 29, 2009
Is it ever appropriate to fight someone for your girlfriend if they are being disrespected?
Jennifer put it well when she said this:
Your reaction should match the action.
Some guys turning everything into a verbal confrontation. That's bad. You need to respond with appropriate force.
I recall going to a concert about 8 years ago. I was in the middle of the mosh pit towards the center of the stage. It was jam packed with the most rabid and excited fans. Everyone was there to enjoy the show...except this one guy who though his job was to keep everyone away from his girlfriend. He was made worse by the fact that he was holding to cups of beer over her head. If he didn't want anyone near his girlfriend, he shouldn't have been in the middle of a mosh pit. He was just looking for a fight.
Don't do stuff like that. That isn't defending her honor. That's just being a jerk.
Think about it this way.
Your reaction should match the action.
Some guys turning everything into a verbal confrontation. That's bad. You need to respond with appropriate force.
I recall going to a concert about 8 years ago. I was in the middle of the mosh pit towards the center of the stage. It was jam packed with the most rabid and excited fans. Everyone was there to enjoy the show...except this one guy who though his job was to keep everyone away from his girlfriend. He was made worse by the fact that he was holding to cups of beer over her head. If he didn't want anyone near his girlfriend, he shouldn't have been in the middle of a mosh pit. He was just looking for a fight.
Don't do stuff like that. That isn't defending her honor. That's just being a jerk.
Think about it this way.
- A harmless joke gets a harmless response
- A slight offense needs a non-confrontational verbal warning
- An offensive comment needs a verbal confrontation
- A physical assault requires you physically remove the person and then call the police
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Before You Say, "I Do" - Session 11 - Q&A
1) What does it mean to treat women like sisters?
2) What is an appropriate way to break up with a girl once you realize she isn't the girl God has for you?
3) How can you avoid lust while not becoming someone who notices nothing?
4) Is it ever ok to fight someone if they disrespect your girlfriend?
2) What is an appropriate way to break up with a girl once you realize she isn't the girl God has for you?
3) How can you avoid lust while not becoming someone who notices nothing?
4) Is it ever ok to fight someone if they disrespect your girlfriend?
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Monday, May 25, 2009
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Friday, May 22, 2009
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
If You Wait, God Will Bring You a Man....maybe not
Another funny clip from Matt Chandler. He takes on some common ideas regarding singleness.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Monday, May 18, 2009
What if you have already messed up? Am I still worthy of a spouse? Because I know I am filthy and not deserving?
Absolutely. I often feel silly or old fashioned when I use phrases like “lies of the devil,” but I believe that this thought is a lie to keep you from giving God the credit He deserves. Think of, if you will, of Bobby Boucher’s mother saying “foos-ball is da debbil!” Only, instead of football, insert this idea where you believe you’re unworthy of forgiveness or redemption because of what you have done.
Nobody is perfect. It’s human nature to sin. I’m not condoning sin in any capacity, but we are sinful, and that’s the bottom line. Christ knew this about us, and died for us anyway. Like Sean talked about Monday night, Christ’s righteousness is imbued upon those who repent from their sin and pursue a relationship with Him. It’s as simple as that. He died so that we may have the option to be forgiven and be reunited with Him – if we choose to accept that forgiveness, we are forgiven. Voila!
Of course, if we were perfect from the moment of repentance, things would be so much easier. But we all know that being a Christian doesn’t mean that you’re perfect…or that you don’t struggle. Living a Christian life is a daily decision; a constant effort on your part to glorify God in the things that you think and do…the way that you live. Dating is no exception.
I remember when I was a senior in high school. At that point, out of all my close church friends, I was the only girl who had kissed a boy before. It made me feel bad…like I was damaged somehow. Just remembering this makes me laugh, at how distraught I was, and how I was convinced that I didn’t deserve a “good” guy because I wasn’t “good.” Lies, lies, lies, LIES. So completely not true. If you are a Christian, and you are saying that you aren’t good enough, then you’re cheapening the gospel, and treating the sacrifice Christ made for you as insufficient. If you have truly repented, then God looks at you like He does Christ – remember that.
That’s not to say that you’re redeemed and therefore you should sin as much as you want, and just remember to say “I’m sorry” afterward. Just as Christ was raised from the dead, when we choose to follow Him, we are meant to live a new life (Romans 6:1-4). If you are truly repentant of your past sins, and you’re living in such a way to avoid repeating those mistakes, you’re heading the right direction. The part of the question that says “because I am filthy and not deserving” gives me hope for you and your future – because being humble keeps us where we’re meant to be. If you weren’t concerned with your spiritual depravity, or you thought you had it all together, you’d be in far more trouble than it sounds like you are – being grieved by past sin. Remorse is an appropriate reaction to sin.
Nobody is perfect. It’s human nature to sin. I’m not condoning sin in any capacity, but we are sinful, and that’s the bottom line. Christ knew this about us, and died for us anyway. Like Sean talked about Monday night, Christ’s righteousness is imbued upon those who repent from their sin and pursue a relationship with Him. It’s as simple as that. He died so that we may have the option to be forgiven and be reunited with Him – if we choose to accept that forgiveness, we are forgiven. Voila!
Of course, if we were perfect from the moment of repentance, things would be so much easier. But we all know that being a Christian doesn’t mean that you’re perfect…or that you don’t struggle. Living a Christian life is a daily decision; a constant effort on your part to glorify God in the things that you think and do…the way that you live. Dating is no exception.
I remember when I was a senior in high school. At that point, out of all my close church friends, I was the only girl who had kissed a boy before. It made me feel bad…like I was damaged somehow. Just remembering this makes me laugh, at how distraught I was, and how I was convinced that I didn’t deserve a “good” guy because I wasn’t “good.” Lies, lies, lies, LIES. So completely not true. If you are a Christian, and you are saying that you aren’t good enough, then you’re cheapening the gospel, and treating the sacrifice Christ made for you as insufficient. If you have truly repented, then God looks at you like He does Christ – remember that.
That’s not to say that you’re redeemed and therefore you should sin as much as you want, and just remember to say “I’m sorry” afterward. Just as Christ was raised from the dead, when we choose to follow Him, we are meant to live a new life (Romans 6:1-4). If you are truly repentant of your past sins, and you’re living in such a way to avoid repeating those mistakes, you’re heading the right direction. The part of the question that says “because I am filthy and not deserving” gives me hope for you and your future – because being humble keeps us where we’re meant to be. If you weren’t concerned with your spiritual depravity, or you thought you had it all together, you’d be in far more trouble than it sounds like you are – being grieved by past sin. Remorse is an appropriate reaction to sin.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Friday, May 15, 2009
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
What if you have already messed up? Am I still worthy of a wife? Because I know I am filthy and not deserving.
By yourself, you are completely and totally unworthy. You're an unworthy sinner. But through Christ your sins have been forgiven. Christianity isn't a religion about rules, guilt, and shame. It's about a God who came down to earth to redeem and forgive mankind. Though we were undeserving of His grace, He sent His son Jesus to the earth to die for your sin. Your sin was put on Him. He paid the price on the cross, and conquered death through the resurrection. We have access to this forgiveness by turning from our sin and putting our faith in Christ.
If you've put your faith in Christ, you don't need to carry the weight and guilt of your sin. Christ has already carried that burden. If you continue to carry that burden, you're saying that Christ died for nothing. When God sees you, He doesn't see a sinner, He sees a saint. You need to see yourself the same way God sees you.
Of course, this isn't license to sin. If you think the forgiveness of Christ means you can do whatever you want, you clearly haven't turned from your sin or repented. In that case, you seriously need to consider whether you've truly put your faith in Christ.
With that said, consider what the Bible has to say about people who have put their faith in Christ.
You Have Been Declared Righteous and Innocent
Romans 3:23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, 24 and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.
The Greek word which is translated "justified" is dikaioō. It is a legal term which literal means you have been declared righteous. It is the modern day equivalent of being put on trial, and being found completely innocent. I actually wrote an 8 page paper on the word dikaioō. You can read it here.
There is No Condemnation for You
Romans 8:1 Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,
You are a Saint
Romans 1:7 to all who are beloved of God in Rome, called as saints:
1 Corinthians 2 To the church of God which is at Corinth, to those who have been sanctified in Christ Jesus, saints by calling...
Colossians 1:2 To the saints and faithful brethren in Christ who are at Colossae
Your Sin Will Never be Held Against You
Romans 4: 7"Blessed are they whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. 8 Blessed is the man whose sin the Lord will never count against him."
You are Clothed in Righteousness
Isaiah 61:10
I delight greatly in the LORD; my soul rejoices in my God. For he has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.
Psalm 132:9
May your priests be clothed with righteousness; may your saints sing for joy."
Your Sin has been Completely Removed
Psalm 103:12
as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
1 Corinthians 6:11 (notice the verbs are past tense)
And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.
Romans 10:4
Christ is the end of the law so that there may be righteousness for everyone who believes.
Philippians 3:9
and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith.
If you've put your faith in Christ, you don't need to carry the weight and guilt of your sin. Christ has already carried that burden. If you continue to carry that burden, you're saying that Christ died for nothing. When God sees you, He doesn't see a sinner, He sees a saint. You need to see yourself the same way God sees you.
Of course, this isn't license to sin. If you think the forgiveness of Christ means you can do whatever you want, you clearly haven't turned from your sin or repented. In that case, you seriously need to consider whether you've truly put your faith in Christ.
With that said, consider what the Bible has to say about people who have put their faith in Christ.
You Have Been Declared Righteous and Innocent
Romans 3:23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, 24 and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.
The Greek word which is translated "justified" is dikaioō. It is a legal term which literal means you have been declared righteous. It is the modern day equivalent of being put on trial, and being found completely innocent. I actually wrote an 8 page paper on the word dikaioō. You can read it here.
There is No Condemnation for You
Romans 8:1 Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,
You are a Saint
Romans 1:7 to all who are beloved of God in Rome, called as saints:
1 Corinthians 2 To the church of God which is at Corinth, to those who have been sanctified in Christ Jesus, saints by calling...
Colossians 1:2 To the saints and faithful brethren in Christ who are at Colossae
Your Sin Will Never be Held Against You
Romans 4: 7"Blessed are they whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. 8 Blessed is the man whose sin the Lord will never count against him."
You are Clothed in Righteousness
Isaiah 61:10
I delight greatly in the LORD; my soul rejoices in my God. For he has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.
Psalm 132:9
May your priests be clothed with righteousness; may your saints sing for joy."
Your Sin has been Completely Removed
Psalm 103:12
as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
1 Corinthians 6:11 (notice the verbs are past tense)
And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.
Romans 10:4
Christ is the end of the law so that there may be righteousness for everyone who believes.
Philippians 3:9
and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith.
