Should a long-distance relationship discourage you? (Jenn’s take)

Similarly to Sean, I’ve been in two long-distance relationships: one ended well, and the other…did not.I guess the best advice I have to offer is to challenge you to ask yourself why you’d want to go through that. As my relationship with Sean demonstrates, it’s possible to date long distance and have it work out. But it’s hard work, requires (in my opinion) much more commitment and effort on both people than regular dating, and has its own unique set of difficulties – in addition to the regular ones that come from starting a new relationship.So, WHY would you want to do that?If your answer is somewhere in the ballpark of, “Because I think he/she...

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Before You Say, "I Do" - Session 7 - Q & A

These are raw answers to questions received live via text message.(1) What about Ghandi's passive approach? He won the war.(2) How do you put these things into practice in your own life?(3) Where is the line when it comes to being passive or being a total testosterone-fueled jerk? How might one keep from being a jerk while still being assertive? ...

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Before You Say, "I Do" - Session 7 - Act Like a Man

Last nights video ...

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Since we all sin and no one is perfect, how are you supposed to tell if someone has these qualities?

The goal isn't to find the perfect man or woman. If that's what you want...It's not gonna happen. Passages like Titus 2 and Proverbs 31 shouldn't be seen as a checklist for prospective dates. They shouldn't be seen as a goal to work towards.When looking for "the one," you want to find someone who is actively seeking to grow closer to God in these areas (Girls - Proverbs 31 and Titus 2 - Guys - Titus 2). No one has all of the qualities perfectly manifested (well except Jesus). Ask These Questions(1) Which areas are they the weakest?(2) What are they doing about it?If someone is completely ignoring character weaknesses, they aren't pursing Christ....

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Before You Say, "I Do" - Session 7 - Vision of Men - MS Edition

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What About Stay at Home Dads?

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Before You Say, "I Do" - Session 6 - Part III - The Story of Sean and Jennifer Chandler

Three married couples share their testimony of how they met one another, how they've changed over the years, and what they've learned through marriage. This is the story of Sean and Jennifer Chandler. Before You Say, "I Do" - Session 6 - The Chandler's St...

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Before You Say, "I Do" - Session 6 - Part II - The Story of Shawn and Krista Hammer

Three married couples share their testimony of how they met one another, how they've changed over the years, and what they've learned through marriage. This is the story of Shawn and Krista Hammer. Before You Say, "I Do" - Session 6 - The Hammers' St...

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Before You Say, "I Do" - Session 6 - Part I- The Story of Brent and Carrie Hagen

Three married couples share their testimony of how they met one another, how they've changed over the years, and what they've learned through marriage. This is the story of Brent and Carrie Hagen.Before You Say, "I Do" - Session 6 - The Hagens' St...

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Should Women Pursue Men?

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If you struggle with an addiction but are fighting it, are you a hypocrite when you try and share your faith?

*Disclaimer*I'm answering this question assuming that the person asking the question is referring to an addiction to specific sin, and my answer is in regards to that specific kind of addiction. Short answer, it depends on your definition of hypocrite.Webster's Dictionary defines hypocrite two different ways.Hypocrite: 1 : a person who puts on a false appearance of virtue or religion 2 : a person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or feelings All Bible-believing Christians are hypocrites according to the second definition. Central to Christianity is our inability to live up to God's standards. We're all sinners with sinful...

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What do you do when you follow all these rules and the relationship still fails? (Jenn's take)

I think I would say that the greatest benefit to following the rules isn't even specifically finding Mr. or Mrs. Right, but knowing that you treated everyone you had a relationship with in a God honoring manner. You know what I'm sayi...

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When Does Temptation Become Sin?

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What should my future boyfriend/girlfriend look like financially?

Here's the bottom line:It's not about an amountIt's about an attitudeTitus 2 4 Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, 5to be self-controlled and pure...Scripture teaches that we're to live controlled lives. We're not to live reckless, indulgent lives. So the issue is not any specific dollar amount. The issue is how the person approaches funds.Our society is totally and unashamedly in love with instant gratification. Whatever we want, we want it now. This is entirely contrary to Jesus' example. You can find many rich people with no debt but an entirely worldly view of money and spending. On the other hand, you...

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What if the girl you like used to be a "slut," but she claims she's changed and is an avid Christian? Do you look at the past?

We serve a God of redemption. The last thing you want to do with a Christian girl with remarkable story of life-change is hold her past against her. Her sins were nailed to the cross of Christ. She is wrapped in the righteousness of Christ and indwelled by the Holy Spirit. Her sin was paid for by Christ. If we continue to persecute her for her sin, then we insult Christ's sacrifice on the cross by suggesting it wasn't enough to forgive her sin.Romans 59 Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God's wrath through him! 2nd Corinthians 521 God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we...

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Before You Say, "I Do" - Session 5 - She's the One Part II

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Before You Say, "I Do" - Q & A - Session 5

This week's questions:(1) What is wrong with braided hair?(2) Say you have a chick dat be all up on your jock but goes to church; how do you know God didn't put her in your life?(3) What does a boyfriend/girlfriend need to look like financially?(4) Are you supposed to find a future girlfriend attractive? What if you don't find her sexually attractive? ...

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Before You Say, "I Do" - Session 2 - Who Can I Date?

Far too many people have absolutely no standards when it comes to who they'll date. It appears the only requirement is opportunity. This lesson examines several biblical principles on who you should date.Before You Say, "I Do" - Session 2 - Who Can I Da...

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How to Stay Pure in a Relationship? - Bubble Suit

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Text Questions

It has occurred to me that some people reading this blog might not know why I'm addressing the topics I'm addressing. The answer is simple: I'm answering questions which where text messaged to my wife while I was preaching. After preaching she comes up and we answer questions. Then, as my time permits, I write a more through answer and post it on here. Any post which has "text question" as a tag is a question which someone asked by text message. If I get brave I might post my wife's cell phone number on here and open this up to more peop...

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If I am too Young for Marriage is it Wrong to Date?

This is a question Mark Driscoll was texted, and the video is his answer. Right now I don't agree with his answer, but he's older and wiser than me. So it would be foolish for me to ignore his answer. Likewise, it is good for you to hear the opinions and wisdom of a multitude of people. I can be and often am WRONG. Listen to what he has to s...

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What if the chicks got a tat?

If you go to Biblegateway.com and do a search for "tattoo," one verse will come up.Leviticus 19:28 "'Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves. I am the LORD. At first glance and without applying any exegetical (fancy Bible college word) skills, it appears the Bible condemns tattoos. However, with a little study it becomes clear something else is going on in this verse.First off, the passage isn't condemning tattoos in general. It is condemning getting tattoos for the dead. This was a practice of the Cannaanites (neighbors of the nation of Israel). Our culture doesn't have any obvious parallels to this practice. Second,...

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Before You Say, "I Do" - Session 1 - Why Date?

In a country where 50% of marriages end in divorce and purity is considered being disease free, something has gone terrible wrong with our views on marriage, love, purity, masculinity, and femininity. Our education system will help you get in college, and college will train you to get a job. But who is training the next generation on how to be a husband, a wife, a father, a mother, and a man or woman of God? This is the introduction to a series which teaches teenagers that the time to prepare for a successful marriage is before you say, "I do."Before You Say, "I Do" - Session 1 - Why Da...

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Before You Say, "I Do" - Session 4 - She's the One Part I

Our culture is pretty clear on what it thinks women should: hot, sexy, and ambitious. But what does a godly woman look like? What should young women strive to be? Well examine those questions in this two part study of Titus 2.Before You Say, "I Do" - Session 4 - She's the One - Part...

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Before You Say "I Do" - Q & A - Session 4

My talk ran so long last night that I ran out of tape on my camcorder and the Hard drive filled up on my back up camera.In fact the last minute of the video the audio changes because my primary audio recording device filled up.So I was only able to record the first of the 5 or so questions which we answered. I'll be answering all of the questions in blog form this week.This week's question:For a girl to be sober-minded, does she needed to be able to stay together emotionally both personally and in post-breakup interactions?Before You Say "I Do" - Q & A - Session...

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What if you have a great guy you are dating and he still doesn’t feel like the one?

Mark Driscoll and his wife Grace answer the question, "What if you have a great guy you are dating and he still doesn’t feel like the one?"Check out this video here (I'm not sure why it won't embed):http://www.marshillchurch.org/media/the-peasant-princess/do-not-awaken-love/7pm-q-aThe clip starts at 4 minutes and 15 secon...

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How do you know when the girl/boy you are dating is the one God has destined for you?

First off, I'll start off by saying that I do not believe that God has picked out one specific person you're supposed to find and marry. I don't see that idea in scripture, and I think it works in the practical sense.If you think about it, if God has picked one person for you but he doesn't tell you explicitly who it is, then we're left to guess work to figure out the will of God. The idea that God has a specific desire for your life which isn't communicated to us, does not sit well with me, and I don't see it in scripture. One of the dangers of putting too much emphasis on finding "the one" is that scripture doesn't put a big emphasis on finding...

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When Are You Ready to Propose?

You're ready to marry when you're ready to die protecting h...

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How long should you date before proposing?

There's no set amount of time you should date before proposing. Generally speaking, the younger you are, the longer I would encourage you to date before proposing (though there are certainly exceptions). The younger you are, the less stable your life is and typically you won't know as well the direction your life is headed. Here are some principles to consider before proposing.1) When You've Come to a Point Where You Know What Direction You Want to Take With Your LifeMarriage is hard no matter what, but it's much harder if you marry someone who's life is headed in a different direction than yours. If desire for your spouse to be a stay-at-home...

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What do you do when you follow all of these rules and the relationship still fails?

I see two different ways to interpret this question:1) What do you do when you follow all of these rules and you still break up with your boyfriend/girlfriend?2) What do you do when you follow all of these rules and you still have a bad marriage?First off, you need to realize that these are principles and experiential wisdom. Since dating isn't directly addressed in scripture, there aren't many rules about dating found in scripture. We find some rules about sexuality. We find descriptions of love, masculinity, and femininity. And we find a great of scripture on how to live wisely.Second, nothing you can do will 100% guarantee a successful marriage...

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What happens when God puts multiple godly girls in your life (whom you're romantically interested)?

Don't date all of them at the same time! You aren't the Christian Bachelor. You aren't God's gift to women. Dating shouldn't be a competition. Don't pit them against each other. You don't want to lead them on or become emotionally attached. Instead, focus on being friends with all of them. Over time it will become clear if one of them is the one you should date. I met Jennifer literally days before I left for Bible college, and Bible college is filled with Godly women. I'd only just met Jennifer, there was no commitment, and we were 1,200 miles apart. There was every reason to look for a relationship at my college. However, after I met Jennifer,...

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