Should a long distance relationship discourage you?

No but it should cause you to seriously consider the relationship.

I've been in two long distance relationships. One ended with me heart broken and swearing off long distance relationships. The other ended with me engaged and then married. So I can speak from experience on the best and worst of long distance relationships.

Things to Consider:

1) Communication is Hard

All of our communication will be through phone, email, text message, Facebook, and MySpace. Having extended planned phone calls is hard. My first serious relationship ended because I kept calling her when she was off to hangout with her new friends. I was desperate to talk to her, but I was her annoying boyfriend who was keeping her from making new friends.

You have to be real creative if you want variety in the relationship. Jennifer and I ended up having lots of phone movie dates. We'd each put the same movie in our DVD player, and we'd push play at the same time. Then we'd talk to each other over the phone throughout the movie.

2) Your Boy/Girlfriend Will Be Surrounded By Other Boys/Girls

It's hard to be far away from someone you care about. It's even harder when you realize they have friends who are your sex. They get to spend time with him in person. They get to experience what's going on his life, and you only get to hear about what's going on in his life.

This was one of the hardest things for Jennifer and I. We were both attending new schools, making new friends, and having new experiences. We couldn't share these experiences together. And each of us knew of the other boys/girls the other person was hanging out with.

This also makes it very easy for the other person to cheat on you. I could list off story after story people who've been cheated on while in a long distance relationship. And more often, in the circumstances it's less premediated because the person pursuing them didn't even know they were dating someone.

Closing Thoughts

• Don't do it if you don't think the relationship has a future. Of course, if you don't think a relationship has a future, then you probably shouldn't be dating the person.
• One advantage of a long distance relationship is that it makes it more difficult to fail physially.
  

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