For a girl to be sober-minded, does she need to be able to stay together emotionally both personally and in post-breakup interactions? (Jenn’s take)

Wow, good question. The short answer is yes.

That is to say that, to exhibit a character of sobriety or self control should be a commonplace thing in your life. As a general rule, you should be well-balanced, even keel, and not erratic in your behavior.

Granted, things happen in life that catch us off guard, that cause us to feel unbalanced and out of sorts. Let me clarify this by saying that, when you are grieving, you’re not less of a woman for crying, sobbing, wailing, feeling sad, etc. That in and of itself does not mean you’re emotionally out of control.

As far as relationships go, it’s natural to be sad when one ends – it’s hard. You’re entitled to grieve that loss. You’re not entitled to go crazy, pull a “Before He Cheats” number on your ex’s truck, or anything of that sort. Vent your frustration and pain to your close friends (and I mean a few close friends, not your entire campus or youth group – don’t use this as an excuse to trash talk or spread slanderous things about your ex), and move on.

When I went through my last break up, it was really hard. The guy and I had been dating a long time and, even though I ended it and knew it was the way it should be, I still grieved the loss of that relationship, and that was okay. I do remember making a conscious decision not to wallow in my sorrow. I had some bad days but, for the most part, really tried to have quality time with my close girlfriends, evaluate the things I saw in myself (character and qualities) that I wanted to change or strengthen and try to improve them, as well as got back to the hobbies and activities that had fallen by the way-side throughout the course of my relationship. I invested in my non-dating relationships, and invested in myself both spiritually and generically. This is not to say that I did things perfectly, but in a post-relationship situation, that’s what I did to try to be proactive in keeping my emotions in check.

So, to answer the question, yes – to be sober-minded, a girl needs to stay together emotionally both personally and in post-break-up interactions.

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