What do you do when you follow all of these rules and the relationship still fails?

I see two different ways to interpret this question:

1) What do you do when you follow all of these rules and you still break up with your boyfriend/girlfriend?

2) What do you do when you follow all of these rules and you still have a bad marriage?

First off, you need to realize that these are principles and experiential wisdom. Since dating isn't directly addressed in scripture, there aren't many rules about dating found in scripture. We find some rules about sexuality. We find descriptions of love, masculinity, and femininity. And we find a great of scripture on how to live wisely.

Second, nothing you can do will 100% guarantee a successful marriage (though you can get close), but there plenty of things you can do to guarantee an early divorce. Before you're married, you need to do everything in your power to be the best husband/wife you can be before you're married. For you to have a successful marriage, you need to be a great spouse. You can't force the person you marry to be a good spouse, but you can use wisdom in looking for the person you marry.

As for the question, I'll try and answer each interpretation of the question.

1) What do you do when you follow all of these rules and you still break up with your boyfriend/girlfriend?

This series doesn't give you instructions on how to make any relationship work. In fact, through this series you may discover that you aren't ready to be dating or you need to break up with your boyfriend/girlfriend. Likewise, some relationships shouldn't end in marriage.


2) What do you do when you follow all of these rules and you still have a bad marriage?

Unfortunately, even if you do all you're supposed to do, a marriage can still go bad. Whoever you marry is going to be a sinner. They have the potential for great sin. You may continue in the faith, but they might not. They might become lazy or passive in the faith.

Also, I would seriously reconsider whether you've actually followed all of the rules/principles. To say you've follow all of the rules is to imply you're the perfect man or woman. Hopefully you don't actually believe that. Certainly you have some area you can work on.


I don't say all of this to scare you. I firmly believe that if you chase hard after Christ and strive to be "the one," use great wisdom and discernment in finding a spouse, and work hard to love and serve your spouse, you're almost guaranteed to have a good marriage. In those cases, it's simply extreme cases where a spouse drastically changes after getting married.

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